2024 It’s really good to see you all here today (AGM) and many thanks for coming. The Stragglers are rather different now from the bunch of very manly friends who originally met to play an occasional game of golf together, mull over how good they were at football or cricket and perhaps have copious pints of beer.  Apart from a few hardy golfers there’s almost nothing now except a few measly pints of beer and, judging by the number of times I have to get up in the night now, were not very good at that.

However, there’s a new breed of Straggler now as that competitive spirit still burns strong. Now there’s hip replacement ping pong, blindfold darts, try to stay awake bar billiards, sedentary crib, something ridiculous called toads, there’s try not to let Bones win the snooker and finally nancy French bowls. What would Gordie be thinking as he was taking five minutes to assemble the rest when there was four minutes to go in the snooker final! Well I can tell you what he would be saying “good on you Stragglers” for that is the spirit that binds us together. So thank you all for that!

I can now report the good news as I have discovered something that we are good at. Eating! Thanks to Charlie, Jim, Sue and Paul we have had ten or more lunches either midweek or on Sundays, meals have been at a variety of pubs and clubs, always with extensive menus and we have always had someone at the lunch to hoover up the left overs! Our charity has been very well supported at each lunch with generous donations being received. 

Our nominated charity this year is Finley’s Touch a truly amazing local charity set up by Finley’s heroic family and friends to help and support similar families who experience the extremes of joy and sadness resulting from such a devastating illness as cancer. Their mission statement says it all “To spread Fun, Hope and Happiness”. I know that I speak for you all when I say that it has been an honour and privilege to support such a brilliant and heart-warming charity and am therefore delighted to say that we have donated £8,500 to Finley’s Touch a figure which equals our highest ever donation.

This is a fitting moment in my report to sincerely thank, on your behalf, our major sponsors for the year Liz and Chris Packham and David Tibble in the guise of Coral Eye Wear. The beginning of each Straggler year is always a nervous time when pledging and then fundraising for or new charity. So once again thanks to Liz, Chris and Dave, who have all been previous sponsors, for sticking with us and starting the year on a very positive financial footing.

At this point I sadly want to note the recent passing of two Straggler friends Shirley Freeman and Julia Biggs. Shirley had been a great supporter for many years and will be sorely missed by all of us. She was not just a Straggler but also a very active member of Haywards Heath Social Club over many years and where she had a great number of friends.  Our thoughts are with Arthur and the family at this very sad time.

Julia was an inspirational Straggler who had amazing battling spirit as she regularly demonstrated on the Petanque terrain and proudly made our honours board when she took the title in 2023 together with Denis O. We send our warmest best wishes to Sue and Paul and the family for their incredibly sad loss.

As a matter of record I note that the knobbly knees table tennis was won by the unlikely winning duo of Charlie T and Bones! The Stragglers Pot was won by Nick M’s team No Hope or Bob Hope. Steve B carried Denis O to the snooker title. Charlie T obviously had to win the Petanque as he was partnered by the Chairman.

I join with many others who have said that this has been an exceptional Stragglers year. Attendance at every event has matched or bettered previous years and there has just seemed to be more fun and spirit on offer!   A lot of hard work has gone into this. We were even teetering on the edge of having a committee meeting, but sense prevailed, and we agreed with Secretary Sue, as always, and her very supportive husband Paul who clearly was busy somewhere. Together they have done a phenomenal job for us and I can’t thank them enough. Nick has kept the scoreboard ticking over admirably and Jim has done a great job sharing the funds with the auditor. Who is the auditor? Seriously Jim has done a brilliant job trying to secure funds from Stragglers who are always “gonna pay later”.

All in all a fantastic Straggler year has come to a close.

THANK YOU.

2023 Most of the Straggler year played out as usual except for the Stragglers Cup (which is a bowl) that died of a severe bout of apathy. Next year we intend to make it marginally interesting in an attempt to boost the numbers.

The usual things that happened were: -

Stragglers were very generous in their support of our charities.

Charlie won yet another trophy.

Bones didn’t win the snooker trophy.

Drinks from Yorkshire were in short supply.

In the early season event that Jim remembered to organise, Mike Coward and the ever-popular Charlie Tucker prevailed to take the table tennis crowns. 

The prestigious Stragglers Charity Golf Trophy was magnificently snaffled by Mike Coward and The President’s Men despite intense competition from some teams whose members strangely looked a little inebriated!  

Julia Biggs carefully marshalled her troop i.e. Denis ‘O (not something that Denis is used to!) to take the honours in the Gordon Peace Petanque Tournament.

As ever the snooker tournament was fiercely fought by 8 teams and the volume of foul and abusive language reached it’s crescendo at 5 pm. The shock and horror was palpable as Jim “The ‘Pool’ and “First Timer” Chris Batchelor waited for John Batchelor to present the trophy. And they waited, and they waited, and they waited until Paul “The Gaffer” handed over the trophy to our very worthy champions.

The Stragglers supported two excellent local charities during 2023. The Dame Vera Lynn Children's Charity which offers amazing support services to parents and children under five with cerebral palsy. Secondly we helped The Ascension Food Larder which provides those who need a helping hand in nearly fifty families with weekly supplies of food and toiletries.  The continued generosity of you ladies and gentlemen is truly amazing and enabled us to pass on £3,500 to each of our very deserving charities.  Our major sponsors this year wish to remain anonymous, but I know you will want me to pass on to them your heartfelt thanks for being such good eggs.

Pulling together this remarkable sporting / charitable organisation requires incredible dedication and determination at times as Stragglers are not necessarily quick out of the blocks when reply to emails etc..  So yet again, on your behalf, I want to thank Sue and Paul for all their fantastic work in the cause of the Stragglers. Our bean counter Jim has yet again achieved amazing feats in collecting money from drunken Stragglers and has even recorded it in a way that most can understand.  Nick Mussell has steadfastly kept our website tidy, up to date and “interesting” if you are interested in “hits” from Angola etc..  Thanks also go to Charlie, Sue and Paul for organising Straggler lunches and Sunday lunches. They have been great fun and well received.

Finally we want to say a huge thank you to Mike Coward who, after countless years as our President, has decided to step down and hand over the presidential cap to some other sap! Mike has kept a gentle guiding hand on the tiller throughout and, together with Jane has organised our most successful of social events, the very special Petanque tournament. As you can see mentioned earlier Mike has retained his competitive edge, never that that was in any doubt, winning two trophies this year and goes out on a high so we look forward to seeing him in combat next year.  Thanks Mike and Jane.

2022 My last year’s report bemoaned the fact that the trophy rooms at the Pearson and Tucker households were, once again, brimming with Straggler glassware. All I can say this year is…… nah nah nah nah nah!

Erroneously it was reported last year that Bones Batchelor had retained the “Haven’t won a trophy” trophy.  He wasn’t having any of that this year as he and the Birdman won the season opening table tennis tournament with some aplomb (is he a new straggler?). He also won first prize during the five Straggler lunch club outings this year and there are no prizes for figuring out what the trophy was for.

Despite some very serious competition from Chris Batches temperance team, Nick Mussell’s guys under the banner of No Hope or Bob Hope took the prize at the excellent Charity Golf Day at Haywards Heath Golf Club.

The ever-popular Petanque tournament for the Gordon Peace Trophy was, as always, well supported by family and friends. The victorious duo who carried off the trophy were the two jj’s, Jane Jupp and John Jefferson and a very good day was had by all.

Denis O’Rourke became a first-time winner when he annihilated the field for the Stragglers Cup, which is a bowl, at Lindfield Golf Club hosted by Mr Geniality, Murat.

The final sporting event required precision cueing, cerebral qualities, and the ability to stay quietly calm under pressure. The Straggler Snooker Tournament displayed none of the above. Had we had a swear pot rather than a foul pot the takings on the afternoon would have been at least quadrupled. The crescendo created by the increasingly vociferous snooker anthems at the end of the afternoon could only be topped when the Fratton End celebrate a Pompey goal. You don’t have to make any comments that I haven’t heard before!  However worthy winners Pat Sarsfield and Chris Packham, not the bookies favourites at the start of the day, grabbed a last gasp victory from another couple.

On the sporting front I would just like to sincerely thank those brave and very patient people who organise Straggler tournaments as Stragglers are not the fastest off the blocks when it comes to replying to e-mail requests. So, cheers to Jim, Paul, Sue, President Mike, Jane and me for being such good eggs! 

There is no need to thank the committee as, yet again, we did not feel the need to call any meetings but there is a huge need to thank Sue and Paul for being exceptional secretaries, Jim for counting the beans as accurately as possible from his offshore tax haven and Nick for keeping our excellent website up to date.

Finally, my thanks go to all you Stragglers who have been so very charitable throughout the last year and in particular Bones Batchelor who generously sponsored our Charity Golf Day.   Despite not having a major sponsor for the year our amazing, nominated charity of 2022, The Bentswood Hub, a food bank and general community support centre, have received £5,000 from the Stragglers which is very brilliant under the circumstances.

2021 Yet again Coronavirus, in all its guises, took its toll on some of our timetabled activities. Even our first outing of 2021, the charity golf day, was in balance until the very last minute so well-done Sue and Paul for sticking with it as it would have been easy to give up.

We were truly fortunate to have our two major sponsors on board early this year and thanks indeed to Alex Waters of Mid-Sussex Timber and to John Batchelor, the self-appointed best plasterer in Sussex. The sponsors' involvement really does mean that we can support our charity with some confidence by knowing that we will have some cash to offer them during the year. Our charity this year was Signposts, a local organization set up to provide help and support to vulnerable adults who cover a spectrum of special needs. They too were affected badly by covid but also had to move premises in mid-year, so attendance levels have not yet returned to pre-pandemic levels. However, we were able to view the new toilet block that our contribution financed, and we were pictured in front of the plaque that states “Stragglers Loo”.  

I am delighted to report that charity fundraising has gone very well in this shortened year and the ladies have thrashed the men when it comes to organizing lunches with attendance being much higher than the gentlemen. The gauntlet is down.                                       

Our sporting calendar was curtailed but some of the same old faces prevailed. The Pearson and Tucker trophy rooms were brimming again but I have been asked to report that Bones has retained the “I haven’t won a trophy “trophy, which is clearly not right as he has won one, but no one can remember when. Jim and Charlie were obviously only winners of trophies because of their talented partners Mike Coward and John Jefferson and The Stragglers Cup, which is a bowl, was won by a marauder far across the border, Mike Downton from Hampshire!  Our Charity Day golf trophy was carried off by a bunch of “clubbers” from a cricket club in Horsted Keynes which doesn’t say much for the competition!

Finally, Sue, Paul, Nick, and Jim have asked me to say how well the administration has gone this year so………………..!  However, all tournaments have gone extremely well, our treasurer has taken less money out of the account than previous officers and our web master (what’s that) has updated the website so that we can’t open it.

 I wish you all a happy and peaceful Christmas and New Year and hope that next year we can have more social straggler meet ups than has been possible in the last couple of years.

2020 Well what is there to say about 2020?  The year of the pandemic saw all of our activities cancelled despite the best efforts of our secretary and her assistant.  We were about to launch the first Straggler Pantomime which would have been a high point in straggler history and a very low point for those who crazily had volunteered to be part of the production.  We’ll just have to wait and see what happens next year.  Oh yes we will!

According to Bones another high point would have been him winning something! Anything!  On the other hand Charlie has been dusting the trophy cabinet and enjoying secret table tennis sessions with Jim.  The point is that there are lots of “non-competitive” Straggler tournaments in the pipeline to enjoy next year if the vaccine works.

Many thanks to John and Ron for being our roll-over sponsors during a global lockdown (no we are not asking for more money Ron.).    It was particularly unfortunate for our nominated charity Sign posts (Mid Sussex) who support adults with learning difficulties as we were only able to offer them a little, but important, financial support to build a toilet in their new premises in The Martlets Burgess Hill.  Not sure if this counts as a high point or low point but I have been informed that the facility has been officially named as the “Stragglers Loo”. We are going to support Sign posts into 2021.

The real low point of course has been not being able to share a pint or two together to discuss why we didn’t win this or that, and, to put down those that did win meaningless trophies! 

Many thanks again for all the officers of the Stragglers who would have worked very hard if we had been allowed to put on any events and I look forward to seeing you all in 2021.

2019 The Straggler events calendar was as busy as usual this year as many people lent a hand to organise the various events that made us such a jolly crew! Unfortunately, it was too busy at times as we had to say Goodbye to Gordie as his final race had been run. It was a great send off and many Stragglers were there to pay their last respects and to ruminate on what life will be like without a head scratching joke to ponder or indeed no further verses of Take Me Home West Virginia to fill up your senses. We miss you Gordie and the Stragglers will never be quite the same. Goodbye old friend. The social calendar kicked off in unusual fashion with Murder at the Golf Club but, no, not the usual murder of the game as played by many a member, but an actual murder mystery dinner. I must confess it’s still a mystery to me, but Paul played his part well, some say, but to me he just looked the same as he does on a normal Friday night. But hey ho. It was a great evening and well done to Paul and Sue for the organisation though Jim Pearson was moaning something about not being able to wear tights again. The table tennis really got on my wits. Charlie and Jim took the honour they deserved after six months of high-altitude training in table tennis boot camp and Jim fixed the draw for them to play together. No sour grapes here. Well done you pair of……. The Charity golf day truly took me by surprise. A most welcome surprise at that. I will put on record that I probably won’t bang on again about Yorkshire men being tight as Ron Wilkinson stepped into the fray alongside the best plasterer in Sussex John Batchelor as the joint straggler sponsors for the year. Many thanks indeed gentlemen for the very generous donation it gave us a very sound base for our charitable endeavours for 2019. The golf day was very well organised, again by Sue and Paul, and turned out to be very exciting with only 4 points separating the top 4 teams. Chris Batchelor and his bashers, sounds painful, were the jubilant team who had to find house room for the extraordinary Straggler trophy. Chris had to move house to accommodate such an amazing trophy. The magnificent bank holiday weather welcomed 28 Petanquing Stragglers playing in pairs and also some additional spectators offering their advice on the finer points of the game. Apparently, the semi-finalists were decided by bribing the President who had the only set of rules to hand. Apparently, the Yorkshire / Lancashire alliance were very, very unpopular but still managed to lift the trophy. The Gordie Peace Bowl was presented to Jim and Ron by our President Mike who organised another brilliant day out. The Stragglers Golf Cup was won by Mart who has now retired from the sport. The final sporting event of the year, and I use the term lightly, was the annual snooker tournament. A burger and chip lunch was followed by a 14-man entry whereby 7 pairs were drawn, of course money seem to be being passed to the organiser once again, with each pair playing one another in a round robin league basis. Now I’m not completely sure but I think that Robin actually wanted to play. However, a young man from Ireland and a somewhat older man from a redneck community in mid Sussex won the tournament without losing a game. Wonderful organisation once again and many thanks to Denis and Charlie for turning up. We are all very pleased for you! Our magnificent secretary Sue has this year organised lunches for the Straggler ladies or Swags as the have been called by some who may wish to remain nameless. I got into serious hot water with my wife when I genuinely made a mistake and referred to these wonderful ladies as Sags. The bruises have not yet healed. Seriously though it is great to see the ladies organising what I am sure is a much better lunch than some of us have come up with in the past. Of course, thanks also for the generous contribution to our charity girls. Our Charity this year was Parkinsons Mid Sussex and they were really gobsmacked when they received our cheque for £5,000. A number of us attended a Parkinsons get together where the various groups met to entertain each other and even, a little like Stragglers, to take the mick out of each other. e.g. Their choir was called the good vibrations and their first number was Lean on Me. Thanks to the committee who managed another year without a meeting and thanks to Nick for keeping the straggler electronic scoreboard ticking over. On a final serious note, the charitable element of being a Straggler just goes from strength to strength, not just in terms of money raised but also in terms of organising time and commitment. Ron and Bones many thanks for stepping into underwrite our charitable giving this year. Thank you so much to all who have contributed so much time this year to ensure that business as usual goes on and I just want to register a special note of thanks to Sue and Paul who do such a great job in trying to herd Stragglers.

2018 What a year and wasn’t it nice that Dave Bird and Charlie Tucker generously allowed “young” Chris Batchelor to take up a position on the Honours Board as a deserved winner of the Stragglers Cup. It really pains me to write this report and have to mention their names so many times. Thankfully Chris McNeill “carried” Charlie, who interestingly prefers the left handed bias on his balls, to the Pétanque title, though according to Gordie, his raking this year was of the finest its been in six years so well done to Gordie for the preparation of the Pétanque courts. The table tennis was probably predictable from the off as “Birdie and Charlie” had just come back from their training camp at high altitude Cuckfield. Even bones with his 1962 reverse pimples couldn’t stop the rampaging duo from winning. The Snooker laurels were taken by the glorious pairing of “yips” Peace and good old Dave Bird, formerly and justifiably known as “spot nose” or “Uncle Albert” during his years as a bearded man of Cuckfield. You can, of course, tell that I am not jealous as, through gritted teeth, I applaud their tremendous play on a day that they were undefeated. As a result the rest of us will be subjected to another year of the monotonous “Championies” song on Friday evenings. Our flagship event of the year, the Charity Golf Day, was won for a second time by a team called “Three Bobbies and Chan” as I understand from speaking to the three Bobbies that Charlie was somewhat less than lack lustre. I would have spoken to Chan himself but my eyes dry out during the glazing process that occurs if you talk to Charlie about golf, or, for that matter, Brighton and Hove Albion, fishing, the rules of sport generally, stories about the local police in 1956, etc.. Well done therefore, to Courtney W, Arthur T, Bobby F, for what needed to be an outstanding performance. Nick Mussell did an excellent job in arranging for a match against Aberdeenshire Stragglers in Scotland. Can you imagine a mind-set that thinks they can organise to get eight Stragglers, including Neil Henry, to get to a field near a mountain, on the correct day, and with the requisite equipment? He did and succeeded so I take my hat off to Nick. There was even a match which we won and Alex W. won an amazing individual trophy but I can’t remember what it was for as parts of the trip seem to be erased from my memory. So we’ve had a bit of fun but equally and encouragingly our charitable achievements carry on unabated. Lots of people have been involved in organising the events that we have enjoyed throughout the year. When he remembers Jim does the Table Tennis, Mike, Jane, and I think Jennifer, provided an excellent French buffet for our very popular Pétanque tournament and Paul masterminds a great afternoon in a dark room full of bad smells, bad breath, bad shots and, as a result, bad language. I particularly want to say a huge thank you to our Secretary, Sue who, with a little help from Paul, not only undertakes the admin work as our Secretary, but for the incredible time and effort she puts into running our “Ain't Got Talent Night” and the Charity Golf Day. Stragglers are not easy creatures to organise and sometimes we don’t appreciate just what an effort has gone into the event that we have just turned up to and enjoyed. Thank you Sue for a terrific year of service to the Stragglers and particularly when you have not been in the best of health yourself. Jim has done a great as our finance man, unless Dave T tells us something different. Nick as usual has kept us superbly up to date with all our news on the website and JJ and Gordie have again not missed a single committee meeting during the year. Our President Mike keeps mentioning new blood but quite honestly we are desperately trying to retain our existing blood so……………thanks again Mike. We have had a really successful year of fundraising for our nominated charity JDRF and thank our generous sponsors, Jackson Coles, the Pearson family and Nigel and Angie Lacey, for their contribution, which will go off shortly, to the work of JDRF in looking for a cure for diabetes. Our charitable work goes on today in searching for another good cause and I thank you all for being just caring Stragglers.

2017 The year has been very successful as far as the competitions has been concerned with a whole host of new names engraved upon the virtual honours board. Tibbles Tipsters took the bookies to the cleaners by winning the Charity Golf Day as very long shots and surprised some of the previous winners, who had mentioned that they felt quietly confident, and were forced to congratulate the Tipsters through gritted teeth. Age seemed no barrier to success as Yorkshire Ron and Dave (charcuterie) took the table tennis against all the odds. Phil Costick won the Stragglers Cup and, during his tearful acceptance speech, mentioned that he had never won anything in his life before and members present generously hoped that this would be the only time. Gordie “the yips” shepherded Jacko to victory in the snooker and since then seems to be humming the “Championies” song without coming up for a breath on Friday nights (mind you drawing breath when Bones and John the gardener are around is health threatening). Jane Jupp single-handedly won the Pétanque on the Beech Hurst Piste despite being “partnered” by Jim Pearson. The only good thing to come out of the competitions this year is that Charlie Chan didn’t get his name on the virtual honours board probably because we have started organising events when he takes one of his countless holidays. Our Charities for 2017, The National Brain Appeal and The Kangaroos, have benefited to the tune of £7,500 from all the major and minor fundraising that has gone on throughout the year. Thanks again to our major sponsor Sideways Six, aka David Tibble, and also The Friday Ad who made a generous contribution. The Stragglers have done a remarkable job yet again in providing much needed funds for very deserving causes and my sincere thanks goes to all who organise events. It’s easy to turn up to functions and not appreciate all the hard work that goes on in the background and we are very fortunate to have a lot of Stragglers who are very generous with their time and organisational skills. Well done all! Finally, I would like to thank all the officers of the club. All your work is greatly appreciated. For a small social group we punch above our weight as a sporting society for elderly people, as evidenced by the webmasters analytics (which are hugely interesting!) which indicates that we had 36 website hits from Russia this year which means that this report is likely to be full of fake news and misinformation.

2016 Whilst many of the population of the United Kingdom had difficulty in facing up to impending changes, the Stragglers were able to embrace the challenges that lay before them, in the year to come. Firstly, due to the fact that the long-serving Secretary had lost his pencil, the committee underwent their first change of membership for seven years and the new Secretary fitted seamlessly into their midst. The committee, which now holds the record of the least number of meetings held by any committee in the world (0), again did a sterling job in organising a myriad of unexciting events. Another change, in that the “Stragglers’ got talent” evening was mildly entertaining, was mercifully thwarted, in spite of the introduction of blue aliens and live animals. However, once again, versions of the acts were placed on YouTube (whatever that is) and some interest was shown by ITV in replacing their own failing reality shows with a bit more class. In June, the East Sussex National Golf course was invaded for the annual match v the Hampshire Stragglers. There was another change of format in that the match was played over two days and the revelries of the evening at the hotel was a major factor in determining another win for the Sussex team. The delights of the hotel were enjoyed to such an extent, that one member necessitated the laying of new carpets in the bedroom, corridors and lift on the second morning. Yet another successful day was held at the Mid Sussex Golf club, in that the Golf Team Charity competition attracted a record entry of mediocre players. Much money was raised although the amount was unfortunately never recorded owing to the Treasurer’s impending trip to Australia. Unfortunately, there was no change in the fortunes of the one team to keep an honest account of both handicaps and scores, as they again came last for the third year running! Another major change saw the inaugural Open Golf competition held at Lindfield Golf Club, at which the Treasurer, refreshed by his trip down under, handsomely won. Pétanque and Snooker competitions ended the season splendidly and much to everyone’s surprise, were thoroughly enjoyed by the winners, whoever they were. The luncheon clubs struggled on gamely, but were limited during the year owing to Inns in East & West Sussex having been forewarned of our members’ parsimony by their colleagues in the trade. In spite of the above, £8.5k was presented to the Ashenground Community Centre, Café project. Certainly, enough to keep them in tea and biscuits for the first two months.

2015 If one word were needed to sum up the Stragglers’ year of 2015, it would surely be “Generosity”, as it was a constant theme throughout the year. In the ‘Stragglers got no talent’ competition, the generosity of the audience in putting up with such drivel was exemplary. Notable exceptions to this, however, were the performances of a) the Bf’s underwater swimming demonstration, during which fortunately, no-one drowned due to the forethought on the organisers’ part in ensuring that the pool was empty at the time, b) the bravery of solo singer and comedian, both from Yorkshire in facing down attempts from the Southern audience to ridicule them and c) an outstanding if incomprehensible act from a group based somewhere within 400 miles of Somerset. An attempt by the Archbishop of Canterbury to ban the table tennis tournament from taking place again in the local church was mercifully thwarted and the event was well supported if easily forgettable. 12 members embarked on the golf tour and 11 arrived safely at Corhampton Down GC where the weather proved to be better than the actual standard of play. This was followed by the first leg of the match against the Hampshire Stragglers which, due to the generosity of the Hampshire players and the tactical wizardry of the Sussex captain, we managed to win! This led to a memorable evening which no-one can remember. There was a rumour, however, that tour members became the first people in history to be ejected from a Weatherspoon’s. Owing to the fact that the return leg was designed to clash with a major event in Scotland, at which the best players of our opponents were participating, we also managed to win the home leg and retained the prestigious trophy for the first time for five years. If any reader has any idea where this trophy might be, please contact the secretary as a matter of some urgency. Our annual Charity golf day was voted by some (not many) as the best ever and the generosity of our sponsors, particularly for the auction items, proved highly beneficial to the charity. This was also matched by the generosity of the bidders who, due to a combination of true altruism and heavy alcohol intake, raised a record amount of money. The winners won for the second year in a row, but no-one else, except the team involved, can remember who they were, or even care! The Pétanque tournament was particularly notable for the generosity of the organiser who agreed to play as a woman. An act which paid off handsomely, as she found himself on the winning side. Two words somehow summed up the valiant efforts of the losing pair, however. “You lost!” The Snooker tournament attracted a record number of entrants. This was probably due to the fact that the club had forgotten that we had booked all of the tables in the room. As always, the competition was well organised and fiercely contested by the winning team who had to constantly battle a high degree of apathy amongst the rest of the competitors. Luncheons were taken at regular intervals throughout the year which did little to enhance the county’s reputation for fine dining. One member was particularly generous in polishing off other diners’ left overs! Our chairman finally had the pleasure of presenting a cheque for £8,000 to Sussex Autism Support. A club record! Such a generous gift brought tears to the eyes of our Yorkshire and Scottish members.

2014 In spite of the near break-up of the United Kingdom, and nascence of a new crusading war in the Middle East for the first time for 800 years, 2014 proved to be a memorable year. New and exciting entrants to the ‘Stragglers got no talent’ competition were encouraging but, unfortunately, failed to lift the show from its natural mediocrity. However, the dinner was a great success and several bottles of wine were taken. Some were even paid for! The table tennis tournament was held in the local church which made most of the contestants feel somewhat at ease, considering that for many, it was a first experience of playing a competitive sport without ill-advised asperity. The annual (we did it last year) golf tour got off to a fine start, when those who promised to take part actually turned up. An enjoyable day was had at Botley Grange for all except the indigenous members of the club. Once again, as is the norm with Stragglers Golf competitions, the winner set a new world record for the number of points gained. A traditional evening of watching England lose in the world cup at Football ensued. The match against the Hampshire Stragglers was as unexciting as always. The club did fight back from a 5-3 deficit in the second leg however, to finally lose. There was some controversy as one of the Sussex members, due to joint nationality and a desire to be on a winning side for once in his life, chose to play for Hampshire. Our annual Charity golf day again led to many records being broken, such as number of golf balls lost, clubs broken in two, etc. This time the winners did not break a world record, but only by one point! Early Autumn heralded the Pétanque tournament which was again closely contested with the winning pair winning every match and the snooker day at the United Services Club yielded another good haul of penalty shots per player, resulting in a welcome boost for the charity. In spite of the great temptations of the red wine cellar, for once, there was a very well-deserved winning pair. Finally the luncheon club continued to prosper in spite of the fact that no-one was prepared to organise anything. A proud tradition that goes back over three hundred years. In spite of the above being a true and just record of events, the club still managed to raise £5,500 for the Motor Neurone Disease charity.

2013 “Per Ardua ad Astra” – “From hardship to buying a new car” could well become the new motto of the Stragglers following an outstanding year which raised £6,000 for our chosen charity, the Sussex Wooden Spoon association. Although the star of the Talent show in January unfortunately dropped out at the last minute, due to illness and a sudden awareness of what he was getting himself into, it didn't detract from a highly successful evening. Gordon Peace stepped into the breach with magnificent renderings which were easily forgettable and the B Flats performed a version of YMCA which has since been censored by Trading Standards. This was abetted by Dave Farmer’s unfathomable quiz which was surprisingly won by his wife. In April, a first ever mini-tour was greatly enjoyed by the owners of the Wetherspoon Inn in Winchester and golf matches were played against the Hampshire Happy Hogs and Hampshire Stragglers in successive days. Both matches featured the drive, skill and determination of our members and were overwhelmingly lost. (This feat was echoed at Plumpton Races at our annual bookmaker’s benevolence meeting!) The 6½-2½ deficit was too much to overcome when the return leg was played in surprisingly calm weather at Pyecombe although a 4-4 draw was a great improvement. In our bid to find a team even worse than us, we were fortunate in playing the Crown at Newick whom we defeated over two legs. The charity day was highly successful, particularly for the winning team who set a world record for the numbers of points achievable in the team competition. The highlight of the day, however, was the memorable speech given by John Broomfield at the dinner which, sadly, will never be surpassed. Pétanque and Snooker tournaments were well organised and a new Table Tennis event was highly acclaimed, although no-one except the winners knows why. Finally, yet again, the luncheon club continued to explore many of the eating establishments in Sussex with the Cat at West Hoathly coming out on top.

2012 “A year to remember”, particularly as a few members are now affected by Alzheimer’s! The year proved to be the best ever as far as the Society was concerned. In January, it held its first ever “Stragglers got no talent” competition, which unsurprisingly did little to uphold its name. The winners were an unknown Barber shop quartet called the B Flats who were unfortunately unable to enhance their reputation. This was shortly followed by two social events; a visit to the Brighton CAMRA beer festival was highly successful, although no recollection of the event has been recorded and a group attendance at Plumpton races was also well received. Particularly by the Bookmakers! Two matches took place, home and away, against the Crown, Newick and the annual inter-county Stragglers match against Hampshire. Although losing the first leg at home against the Crown, played at Pyecombe GC under the captaincy of Ron 'how much!' Wilkinson, the return leg, under the captaincy of Roy 'I know how much, but you English bastards can pay for it' Aitken, proved decisive for a Stragglers’ victory. The match against Hampshire, however, proved to be a big disappointment. The first leg played at Pyecombe during the only ever recorded Hurricane in Sussex since 1989 was lost and the return in Winchester became an easy win for the hosts leading to a handing over of the trophy. The evening afterwards followed the pattern of the Brighton Beer Festival. The Charity Golf day held at the Mid Sussex Golf and Swimming centre was a big success. The winning team consisted of three ducks and a swan, but our members followed in closely afterwards. The Snooker tournament held at the United Services Club in Haywards Heath in September was a closely run contest with four pairs entering the last round with a chance to win! However, no-one now remembers, or cares, who won. (See above comments re: CAMRA) Finally, many good meals were consumed by the Luncheon club who raised over £180 for the Charity. The winning establishment was the George & Dragon at Houghton with a score of 8.9 which would have even been higher had Ron arranged it. Final donation to our charity was £2,500. A splendid effort.

In 2011 in spite of many earnest requests and pleadings, the club decided to carry on and chose to support the Hurstwood Park Neurological centre as the year's charity. Also notable this year; several distinguished sportsmen were invited to become sponsors of the society but only one reply has, as yet, been received; this was a brief two word response from Wayne Rooney. Among the year's highlights was the winning of the prestigious Stragglers Challenge golf trophy after a fine two leg win over Hampshire Stragglers. New events also included a golf pairs competition and un jour de Pétanque (whatever that is in French!). After many fine efforts to extort money, particularly from Northern members, £2,000 was presented to the charity.

In 2010 the new Sussex Stragglers organised a long list of activities; these included a highly successful Golf day, a match against the Hampshire Stragglers, a monthly Luncheon Club and a dodgy Snooker tournament. A total of £4,000 was donated to our chosen year's charity 'St Peter & St James Hospice', some of which was staggeringly achieved by our chairman in his doomed attempt to ascend mount Kilimanjaro. Although he failed to make the summit, it was generally agreed that his climb of 500 metres was no bad feat, particularly as he was carrying the beer!

In 1991, the 'Stragglers Bowl' was presented to its first winner, this had been lovingly crafted from the finest cut glass in Devon. However, following an unfortunate incident in 1992 it became known as the 'Stragglers Smithereens'.

In 1990, the club had a new lease of life when the golf section was introduced. Many famous and distinguished people were known to have turned down invitations to all of its meetings.

In 1939, several members were dropped behind enemy lines. They spent the rest of the war waiting in Calais until the P&O Ferry service restarted.

In 1938, the club were honoured when King George VI agreed to become their honorary barn dance caller.

In 1926, the club took part in its first Arts and Crafts movement but this had to be abandoned due to the toilet being blocked.

In 1914, at the outbreak of the first world war, a conscientious objectors section was set up which attracted 100% of the membership. (In December 1918, all members of the club volunteered their services to the Sussex Regiment)

In 1887, Dr Spooner became club president and led members in various activities including Clock Rhyming, Duba Skiving and Hox Funting.

In 1837, the club was reconstituted to celebrate the accession of Queen Victoria. Many lively events were held including Cock-baiting, Bear-racing and Sheep-fighting.

In 1736, a luncheon was held somewhere, but no one remembers where.

The Sussex Stragglers were originally formed in 1649 in the back of a Coaching Inn somewhere in Mid-Sussex. The first Royal Patron was Charles 1st, a day later the club was closed and re-opened under its new patron, Oliver Cromwell. Due to the effect of the Puritans in banning Smoking, Drinking and Wild sex, the club closed shortly afterwards.